Nightmare Before Christmas
by Stelra Etnae
Summary: A late Christmas fic! This is a parody of Nightmare Before Christmas written for Yemi Hikari's Christmas Challenge. Ichigo lives in Halloween Town, and one day wanders into Christmas Town. Chaos ensues when he tries to emulate Santa. Slight IchiRuki


_**Whew, this took longer than expected! A late Christmas fic, people! A parody of 'Nightmare Before Christmas'. This was written for Yemi Hikari's Christmas Parody Challenge! Check out the forum! **_

_**Read and review, please!**_

* * *

Have you ever wondered where holidays come from? If you have not, it is time that you do.

In Halloween Town, frights and scares were entertainment enjoyed by the masses. This was a town filled with the undead and your worst nightmares. In this town, all your greatest fears thrive.

One of its more unique residents was a man named Ichigo, also known as the Strawberry King. Dressed in black with his sword like the night, his power surpassed all in its unpredictability, his aura was like dark flames. Every year, he would put on a spectacular performance that would dazzle all.

Yet he was tired of it, tired of doing the same old thing all the time. A part of him craved for originality and change. But no one understood his need.

"There are surely great possibilities out there just waiting for me to find them! Isn't there more to life than this?" Ichigo sighed, flopping down on the ground.

Next to him, Kon put a hand to his chin as though in deep thought. "Of course there is! Oh, to feel the sweet embrace of a woman, to drown in..." His daydream was cut short when Ichigo landed a blow on the back of his fluff-filled head. The stuffed lion glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"That's not what I'm talking about, idiot." A vein popped in Ichigo's forehead as he stood up and walked away.

"Hey, don't just leave me here! Wait up!" Kon did his best to catch up on his short legs.

Ichigo arrived at a small clearing within the forest. A strange door stood in the middle of the area, floating without any visible help whatsoever. It was made out of a frame with a bright light illuminating its center. The blurry shape of a lavishly-decorated tree could be seen within the glow. Tentatively, his fingers encountered the tree.

Suddenly, a strong gust of snowy wind sucked him through the opening. He disappeared just as Kon arrived on scene. "What the heck happened?"

"Oh my." A voice behind him made Kon turn around. The man standing there wore a green and white striped hat. Fanning himself idly, Urahara sighed. "Looks like I forgot to close the portal."

* * *

Meanwhile...

"What the hell is that?" Ichigo ran frantically as a huge hairy monster chased him from behind. The wall on both sides of the hallway dripped with purple goo. The sounds of the enormous thing catching up to him made him dash forward faster towards the light that blossomed in front. He ran through the end of the tunnel and found that there was suddenly nothing behind his feet.

Ichigo landed in a mound of white snow. Shaking off the ice, he stared at the brightly-illuminated town below. Never before had he seen anything so colorful!

Running into town, he looked around at the new sights in fascination. Bright lights were everywhere, the seasonal cheer was almost tangible, and snow was falling lightly all around him! Children were playing happily outside, without anyone to scare them. People slept peacefully, devoid of monsters or nightmares that commonly plagued his home. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

Fascinated with everything, he gathered up some souvenirs and headed home.

* * *

Coughing could be heard from within one of the houses in Christmas Town. Through the window, one could see the outlines of elves hard at work. It was the home and workshop of none other than Santa Claus, the town's beloved mascot.

Unfortunately, the source of the terrible coughing happened to be our dear old man himself.

"By no means should you leave your bed for a week at least." Unohana declared her diagnosis with an air of finality.

"But..." Ukitake coughed again. "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!" Having uttered that complete sentence, he lapsed into a hacking fit.

Unohana leveled her husband a quelling glare that he tried to counter with a distinct lack of success, seeing as he could barely keep his eyes open.

"You should just listen to her, Juu." An amused voice drawled from behind them. A man garbed in a flowery haori sat nearby watching the interchange with interest.

"What are you doing here, Kyouraku-taichou?" Unohana directed her stormily smiling countenance towards the third party. Kyouraku gulped.

"I'm just worried about my best friend's health, sempai! Also, as the mayor of this town, it is my duty to feel concern about my cherished residents!"

"Taking the chance to skive off from paperwork, more like." The voice that suddenly spoke up directly at his back made him jump in his seat.

"Ah! My dear Nanao-chan!"

"I've been looking for you, Taichou. With the festival so close, there is much work to be done." Nanao adjusted her spectacles on the bridge of her nose, making them reflect light in a very intimidating way. Defeated, Kyouraku let her drag him back to the office.

"I still maintain my judgment that it is unwise for you to go out at all." Unohana continued sternly once the disturbance had been removed.

Before he could form a reply, two of his elves had appeared by his side.

"Taichou, you should rest!"

"I care more about Taichou than you, Kiyone! It's cold, Taichou, I'll get you another blanket!"

"No you don't, stupid Sentarou! Here, Taichou, have some herbal tea."

Defeated, Ukitake submitted to his subordinates' overzealous attentions. "But what about the presents?"

"That can be easily taken care of. Isane is looking for your replacement as we speak."

"Unohana-taichou, I've found him!"

"Lovely. Now everything can proceed as planned."

* * *

"It was a world so unlike ours! The place was beyond anything I had dreamed off! Its name was... Christmas Town."

As the crowd cheered, Ichigo wondered if they really understood. He held up a small wrapped box. "This is called a present."

"Can it be eaten?" asked Omaeda, crunching on his packet of treats.

"What could such a tiny thing do? Can it give me a good fight?" Ikkaku cracked his knuckles.

Ichigo turned as the box was plucked out of his hand. "How ugly, it's just a boring square thing," Yumichika said, looking at it with distaste.

All the other items that had so fascinated Ichigo were viewed by the others as quite useless, much to his chagrin. No one understood him.

Except for one girl. Kuchiki Rukia, a creation of the scientist Urahara Kisuke. A woman whose body was made out of a gigai, and the Hogyoku stood in place of a heart. Even so, she had a unique and strong personality that made her stand out from others. She understood.

* * *

Ichigo stepped into the darkened corridors of the Urahara Shoten. Arriving at the living room, he noted the figure seated in the center of the room. Urahara's hat was tipped over his face shading his eyes, giving him an ominous look. A black cat lay curled up by his side.

"Welcome, Kurosaki-kun," Urahara snapped his fan shut. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Urahara-san, I need to know more about Christmas Town."

"Ah, but of course. Tessai!"

Thus Urahara and Tessai began their explanation, naturally involving some rather interesting-looking illustrations.

"There you have it!" Urahara finally ended.

Ichigo's eye was twitching quite uncontrollably by this time. "I... don't understand anything..."

* * *

"I have a very important task for you three. You are to kidnap Santa Claus!" Ichigo had summoned some help to the shop.

"Yay, we're going on a mission! Ne, ne, Ichi," said Yachiru, jumping onto his back, "Will there be sweets?"

"Just grab him and come back! Go down to the basement, someone will open the portal for you."

"Understood, Ichigo." With that, Chad walked off, his two companions trailing behind excitedly.

After a while, they returned carrying a large sack. "Kurosaki-kun, we got him!" called out Orihime.

"Great! Open the bag."

Yet to his disappointment, it wasn't Santa. "That's not him! Santa is a man who has white hair!" The large Easter bunny was obviously scared out of its wits. "Take it back!"

Back in the basement, they informed the one who had activated the portal that their captive had been the wrong one. Rukia stared at the various button arranged next to the shut off portal, and realized that she had pressed the wrong one. Unconsciously, her finger had landed on the one with the rabbit picture...

She stared at the large pink bunny, and hugged it tightly around its neck. "But it's so cute! Just like a giant Chappy!" Reluctantly, she let the trio put it back where it belonged, then opened up the correct door.

"This time we got the right one!"

"Alright, let me see!"

They opened up the sack, and out tumbled a small white-haired boy. Ichigo stared at him. "This isn't Santa! Santa is an old man, not a kid like this!"

His comment forced an enraged response from the prisoner. "I'm not a child! My name is Hitsugaya Toshiro, and I'm Santa's replacement for this year!"

Ichigo's irritated look faded into joy. Delighted at having caught the correct person, he ruffled Hitsugaya's hair. "Now you just sit back this year, Toshiro! I'm going to replace Santa!" Ichigo gestured towards the three kidnappers, and they shut him back in the sack before he could form a retort. "Take good care of him!"

Outside, Chad and Orihime looked at each other. "What do we do with him?"

Bouncing along in front of them, Yachiru cheerfully answered that. "Bring him to see Ken-chan, of course!"

* * *

"Now what do we have here?" A hulking form loomed over the boy. "Are you strong? Fight me!" The resulting burst of reiatsu rippled through the room.

Narrowing his eyes, Hitsugaya reached towards his zanpakuto which was as usual strapped to his back.

Yachiru giggled happily. "Ken-chan seems really happy!"

* * *

Ichigo returned to his house to investigate the mysteries of Christmas on his own. All over Halloween Town, the residents bustled about making the gifts he was to send. Everyone was excited over his scheme, but he wanted to know more.

He was puzzling over a book when a black butterfly fluttered across the room. A dark hole appeared on a wall, and a small figure stepped through it.

"He's near."

A split second later, the person fell down as Ichigo threw the book at her. "What are you doing, just popping up in my room, Rukia?!"

"What's your problem, Ichigo?! I'm just here to tell you that Urahara-san has completed that flying contraption you requested." She pulled out a rolled up mat from the hole. "It's a flying carpet, you better take good care of it!"

Rukia paused for a moment, and continued in a worried tone, "You shouldn't go, Ichigo. Who knows what you might encounter there... Just stay safe."

With that, she left, leaving Ichigo staring bemusedly the now empty wall.

* * *

"Now, as the carpet is too large for the corridor in the portal, you will have to carry it through in its rolled up state. Once you're through, you can open it up. Just to make sure things go properly, I'll be sending Yoruichi-san with you." Ichigo looked dubiously at the black cat.

"Alright, let's go!"

"Hey, wait up! You aren't leaving without Kon-sama!" Kon shot forward and grabbed hold of the edge of the mat just as they passed through the portal.

"Why are you here, Kon? And why the heck do we have to go through this thing again?! Can't Urahara make a better portal?" yelled Ichigo, as they were chased by the monster again.

"Just shut up and run!" was the only reply Yoruichi gave him.

* * *

Ichigo slipped down yet another chimney, lugging his sack of presents. Unknown to him, in the various houses he had passed through, chaos had taken over. In his goodwill, he had overlooked the fact that the products of Halloween were quite unsuitable for the residents of Christmas Town.

Just as he had finished filling the Christmas stockings with presents, a small noise distracted him. Turning around, he saw a little girl with short brown hair standing in the doorway.

"Santa?" she asked in a soft voice, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Er... Hohoho! Merry Christmas! What's your name?"

Staring at him rather apprehensively, she said, "Yuzu."

"Here's a special gift for you, Yuzu!" Handing her a soft toy, he disappeared up the chimney again.

The lights were switched on in the living room and Karin walked in. "What happened, Yuzu?"

"Santa came and gave me a present!" Yuzu turned around, holding the toy up for her sister to see. "His name is Bostov!"

Inwardly, Kon sighed and cursed Ichigo.

* * *

Unfortunately, that was the only delivery that went well. Soon, the police station was ringing with various complaints from homes all over town. Residents were being terrified left and right.

"This is an emergency! Take any lengths to stop him!" barked out Yamamoto-soutaichou, the head of police. As usual, his vice-captain stood by his side.

"Bankai! Jakuho Raikoben!"

"Hajike, Tobiume!"

"Unare, Haineko!"

"Bankai! Kokujo Tengen Myo'o!"

"What the hell?!" Ichigo dodged the multiple attacks frantically. Sparing a nervous glance at the gigantic samurai behind him, he shot forward as fast as he could.

"By the pride of the Quincy, I will not let this monstrosity spread terror through our town!" Ichigo gulped as he swerved to avoid the seemingly endless arrows. Just as he thought his worries over, the worse came.

"Bankai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." As the petal-like blades swirled all around him, Ichigo was left with no choice but to retaliate.

"Bankai! Tensa Zangetsu!" With lightning fast reflexes, he beat down all the tiny blades chasing him.

Suddenly, a huge shadow passed overhead. The stunned onlookers from below watched as the Unidentified Flying Object swallowed Ichigo whole, flying carpet and all.

With a great thump that rocked the ground, the _thing_ landed in the town square. A small figure alighted from it. "All is well now. The situation is under control," Unohana said cheerfully in her quiet manner. Minazuki burped and unceremoniously spat Ichigo out before returning to its sealed form.

"I'll be taking him now." A dark-skinned woman descended from the sky, something that looked like a pair of wings attached to her arm.

"Shihouin Yoruichi!"

"Nice to see you again, Byakuya-bo. I might come and visit some other time. Bye!" With a cheeky wave, she grabbed hold of Ichigo and the mat, and flew off into the night.

Ichigo goggled at her. "Yoruichi-san?!"

* * *

Rukia peeked into the window to see Kenpachi and Hitsugaya clashing swords. She had to save him and make things right again. If she did it correctly, she should be able to restrain Kenpachi for a little while...

"Carriage of Thunder. Bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six! Bakudo 61, Rikujokoro!" When the massive man had his arms pinned to his sides, she gestured towards Hitsugaya. "Quick, over here!"

Yet she had not anticipated that the fierce clash of powerful reiatsu had weakened the structure of the building, causing the ledge she was perching on to crack. Falling painfully onto the ground, she was faced with the problem of Kenpachi towering ominously over her.

"What do you think you're doing trying to spoil my fun, little girl?"

Hitsugaya jumped between the two, his zanpakuto unsheathed in his hand. "You, get as far back as you can. If not, I won't guarantee that you get caught up in this."

* * *

When Ichigo arrived on scene, Hitsugaya had activated his shikai and the whole room was covered in ice. Much as he didn't want to face Kenpachi, he had to set thing right.

"Oi, Kenpachi! Let them go!"

The man turned towards him, a bloodthirsty grin on his face. "What, Ichigo? Are you here to continue our match?"

"Hell no! Just let those two go!"

"Why? They've been so amusing. Especially the small white one."

"Hey, who do you think you're calling small?!"

Understanding that Kenpachi would never let them leave the place willingly, Ichigo utilized his last resort. "Bankai! Tensa Zangetsu!"

With his enhanced speed, he grabbed the two and shot out of the building before anyone could do anything. Undoubtedly, he'll have to deal with Kenpachi later, but at least they were safe for now.

"Put me down!" yelled Hitsugaya, enraged.

"This way's faster! You need to get back to your town, there's still time to fix things."

Reaching the portal, a disgruntled Hitsugaya returned to Christmas Town to finally complete his work.

* * *

In Halloween Town, the residents were able to experience one aspect of Christmas: ice-skating.

"Tsugi no Mai, Hakuren!" Rukia wiped her brow, having frozen over an entire lake.

"Wow, it's really cold." Ichigo let out a soft whistle. A snowflake floated down in front of his face. "You can make it snow as well?"

Rukia looked confused at the steadily increasing snow coming down from the sky. "That's not caused by my ability..."

Everyone looked up when a loud roar echoed through the area. In the air was a huge dragon of ice, with a small figure seated atop it.

"Hey, it's that kid!"

A vein popped in Hitsugaya's forehead as Ichigo's words reached him. "I'm not a kid!"

Ichigo laughed rather sheepishly. Suddenly, something cold and wet hit the side of his face. He turned to see Rukia sticking her tongue out at him, another snowball already in her hand.

"I'll get you for that!" Ichigo bent down to grab a handful of snow as Rukia's missile once again hit its target. Soon, it escalated into a full out snowball fight.

Thus all that's well ends well, and our cute couple continues their bickering. They may deny any romance, but we all know better, don't we?


End file.
